i feel like dropping out from the Student Leadership Camp from 5-8june :(
there's this overnight trekking on 5 june.
must walk all the way from PJC to the campsite at Lim Chu Kang!
about 15km. !!!!
OMG! and somemore, we have to carry our super heavy backpack with us all the way!
yea, i hope i wont drop dead along the way ><
walking 15 km at night is already ...........
walking + carry the ultra heavy backpack (with 1.5litre bottle filled completely with water) is like hell :(
and worse is, we have to walk past a cemetery on our way, i think?
OMG! freaking scary!
and the very very very very very (x10000times) scary height element games (flying fox etc...) and the very very very very very (x10000times) scary kayaking. (i dunoe how to swim! -.-) maybe, i should really considering pon-ing the camp T_T

its sounds so much like OBS
but the thing is, i think im way too fortunate during OBS last time
cos my group didnt have the chance to play the height element games (THANK GOD!)
and while most ppl are kayaking, ours is the small boat(or whatever its called. i forgot le) with 8 ppl de, then got steering wheel de. so its much more stable and wont capsize so easily.
thats why my group dont have capsize drills. (LUCKY!)
yea, see. i survived OBS happily because i successfully escaped from all those activities tat i seriously have a phobia in. (i.e. height and water!)
and im serious.
im really scared of height and water.
phobia for height is normal la. (at least for girls)
but phobia for water LOL. i dunoe why. but im scared of water since young (as in swimming pools, sea etc. those type of water la!) last time i wanted to learn swimming de. but i ran away the moment i stepped into the swimming pool! LOL ><

someone, tell me how im going to survive this year's leadership training camp!
there's no way i can escape from height + water this time round -.-
arghhhh! kill me bah.....

but on a happier note, my camp group members are quite fun to talk to :)
and im in the same group with HUILIN! (cos same cca mah)
ok thats the only happy thing that is worth to be mentioned.

haix, but i'll just treat the camp as a challenge bah
if i can survive this camp (i.e. overcome my phobia), there'll be nth much to be afraid of in the future :)
but if i cant, yea, u'll see me crying during the camp. (maybe i'll be standing on the pole, dunoe how many storeys above ground level, and crying cos i dun dare to jump down. hmm or worse, maybe i wont even dare to climb up that pole)

ok i shall stop imaging the worse now.
can someone pls stop the time NOW?
so that 5 june wont come so early?
seriously, i need time for mental preparation. ><
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh and before i forget, my gp tcher indirectly said im cheenah during gp lesson that day! -.-
whats wrong with speaking chinese all the time?
whats wrong with reading chinese newspapers/books/magazines?
whats wrong with listening to chinese songs?
so what if i dun like to read english stuff?
hello!
although i admit im cheenah -.-
but not to the very extreme ok!
i still speak english when there's a need to
i still read english newspapers when there's a need to

its because of all those naive ppl who hate chinese to the core, that chinese is dying out
ysd, serene was like saying, chinese is our roots, our culture.
why must we abandon chinese, just because english is the global language of communication?
how can u call urself a chinese when u suck at the language?
*high five, serene!* LOL!

i noe i sound rather mean here.
but my point is, im not extremely cheenah ok!
i can be bilingual, if i want to
i can switch to speaking in english, if i want to
but its just that, i find it easier to communicate in chinese. ><
wth.
one more time someone claim that im cheenah, i swear i'll start reciting tang poems in front of u! (LOL)

i dont mind if u say it in a joking manner
but i'll get offended if u mean it in a serious manner -.-

argh im damn busy!
got homework.
got tests.
got GP mid year this friday! (OMG!)
got a lot of cca stuff to settle.
got pw.
got a lot a lot of other random stuff....
ARGH!
so many commitments. so little time.
can someone please stop the time? like NOW?
OMG OMG OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*i hope i wont get another emotional breakdown again*

如果你曾经努力过，但还是不成功， 至少你对得起自己。
但如果你什么都不做，不付出也不努力，就算失败了，也没人会可怜你。
成功是要靠自己努力的。
不是坐在那边，守株待兔，就会有结果。

i dunoe what u're thinking.
but i just feel that, since u've already chosen the jc route, u have to put in the extra effort to work hard.
after all, nobody can help u if u dun help urself.
if u dun help urself, and if u dun allow others to help u, there is nth much we can do.
and like what belle (huihui gongzhu!) said tat day,
if u dun put in effort to study or revise consistently, u'll pay the price at the end of the year.
as a friend, i really dunwant to see such a thing happening to u.
so please wake up!!!!!!!

* im NOT referring to any particular person here. so dont be overly-sensitive and think im referring to u! *

just now after tuition, i went shopping with regina !
ok not shopping literally, but shopping for next wed's farewell presents!
haha spent like nearly $40.
and i got to carry 2 big bags of stuff home.
it has been a long time since i last stepped into mini toons / more than words le
so its fun looking at all the cute cute things :D
and i think one of the game prizes is damn cute lah! (got winnie the pooh on it)
*feel like keeping it for myself* LOL!

and i realised its not easy to shop for presents too
cos got to make sure its suitable for both girls and boys
and at the same time, must make sure i dont exceed our budget
and i really dunoe what to buy la.
so ya, anyhow randomly pick 5 stuff for game prizes :)
i'm quite excited for next week's farewell!
cos of the game we'll be playing. haha
shall not reveal the secret here first :D

and back to studies, NEXT FRIDAY IS GP PAPER LE!
SHIT! :(
i've more or less given up hopes on gp liao.
but still, i hope i can get a decent grade. since its mid year exam!
i dont want to be greeted with results that are horrible....
so *pray* no failure pls!

quoted from dearest CHING CHING! : "It's not nice to find out that i'm actually dumb."
yea, so true!
sad. :(
and when i do the stupid facebook quiz, the results are always the opposite!
wth.
i got "AAA-GP B" for the "what is ur a level grade"
and "NERD" for the "what type of university student are u"
and "over-achiever" for the "what type of student are u"
AND I OFFICIALLY DECLARE, ALL THESE RESULTS ARE CRAP!
they should give me accurate results like "dumb" or whatever -.-

i cant secure an A for tests anymore!
maybe becos the topics are getting harder.....
and maybe becos i've getting more and more tired after school everyday.....
argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT MY As !!!!!!!!!!!!!
to me, getting 40+ is NOT EVEN A PASS although its considered as sub-pass in jc
PASS = 50 marks and above!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thus, the MINIMUM grade i can accept is a D!
PLS, not anything lower than that!
omg. i must work extra hard during the june holidays le.
i want my mid year grades to be nice :)
*hope the exam qns wont be that difficult*
*hope that i wont blank out again during tests/exams*

life is stressed........

met up with PW group members in the morning to do GPP just now.
should be quite effective bah, since we finished our GPP within 2 hours. (i think so?)
then its home sweet home :)
oh ya! and guess who i saw at library today????
CHING CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we are like, just 2 tables apart from each other. haha!


SO PPL, PLEASE HELP ME DO THIS SURVEY FOR PW
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=xC9VxkTjn25O0Bje2BDHJw_3d_3d
THANKS ALOT :D :D :D

ok did i do anything productive this long weekend?
no, i didnt!
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and im starting to wonder, if i will ever put studies as my top priority and neglect friends along the way....
cos frankly speaking, i think im becoming more and more introvert le.
besides going for tuition, i dont even want to step out of my hse during weekends.
its not as if i chiong hwk 24 hrs a day (IM NOT A HARDCORE MUGGER!!!)
but like what regina said, after studing econs, we'll start to weigh our priority
and realise that going out to play during the weekends is too much an opportunity cost incurred
we'd rather use that time to study or do other meaningful things
OMG! is that what econs do to us!!!!
how come regina shares the same thought as me! LOL!
i dunoe. but as much as i put studies as my top priority, i really hope i wont neglect friends as well.
cos i really feel bad for pangseh-ing them for outings so many times, ever since school starts. ><
BUT...... I PROMISE I WONT PANGSEH U GUYS ANYMORE DURING JUNE HOLIDAYS!
cos i believe in study hard, play hard :)
WE SHALL MEET UP DURING JUNE HOLIDAYS!!!!
i miss going out with u guys!
ppl like xuanny, kaijun, ching ching etc....

ok just when other CCAs are still having their exco interview,
we already know our posts liao
so ya, xiaohui got president
and i got vice president :)
LOL the teachers said we he zhuo wu jian (chinese)
cos we are best friends^^
and P and VP are supposed to work hand in hand mah
but its good, at least i can communicate with xiaohui :)
haha.
and since the J2s are stepping down soon, its time i become more responsible le
i hope i can show more leadership this time round.
cos frankly speaking, i dont think i did a very good job in being the PL for guides last time ><
but this time round, im determined to do a better job!
haha jiayou to xiaohui also! :D

and mid years is coming!
its time to mug and mug liao :D

suddenly, i realised u're no longer the person i once know
is it u who changed too much
or is it me who didnt change.
i dunoe.

为何后来我们用沉默取代依赖
曾经朗朗星空渐渐阴霾.............

我们变成了世上最熟悉的陌生人


physical distance is not the main problem
as long as we can stay emotionally attached....
but, can we?

it always takes two hands to clap
i cant be the only one who is putting in effort
if u dont do anything abt it....
i really dunoe how we will end up to be.....