i hate it when ....
- people always associated me with "mugger" when im NOT!
- people always expect me to get good results
- whenever i say i did badly/will do badly, very few people believe me -.-
- people have high expectations for me when i noe i will definitely let them down in the end
- people say i did ok/well when i noe i didnt

i just need some time to be alone
i just dont feel like talking cos the more i talk, the more i will hear things that i dont want to hear
and when i say sth more than twice, I REALLY MEAN IT!
so stop bugging me with the same few qns over and over again -.-

and i realised, it has been quite some time since i last talked to people
as in really talk to them abt my problems etc.. not those craps...
but i just dont feel like talking..
cos nobody noes how i feel actually...
what makes u think im contented? IM NOT AT ALL!

nvm, PW first ^^

got back promos results on tues
was quite disappointed cos i didnt meet my expectations again -.-
but GP was a total surprise, to me and maybe mr lim too. LOL!
and the rest... haix, cnt up to my expectations
but nvm, i will work extra harder during the holiday to catch up
must build a strong foundation for J1 topics for this holidays
if not, next year i will be struggling with J2 topics like mad. >.<
and seriously, i dunoe what the hell is wrong with me for chem!!!!
DAMN DISAPPOINTING!
haix... :(

have been chiong-ing pw these few days
and after PW, i shall start on my revision all over again! :)
hope i'll find the motivation to do so.
haha. I REALLY WANT TO DO WELL ...

maybe i should consider lowering my expectations by a little bit
cos it seems too impossible to meet the target, given my current capability. :(
and the more hopes u have, the more disappointed u'll get after receiving ur results
should i lower?
haix but i always believe in "aim high, score high"
nvm, i shall drag B.I.P to library and mug with me during the holidays!
we will do well next year together, as one! :D

so we had inter-house games today!
8am-6pm. gosh -.-
and i swear.... i wont skip anymore! at least for the time being lah...
my thighs damn suan can, and my toes hurt... OMG!
we've been skipping and skipping for so long this morning
and im so proud of our team cos we managed to persevere until the end!
*3 cheers for darwin team 1, esp S10!*
we entered the finals with the top score lah! OMG! was so shocked by our score!
and i think i screwed up totally for the final round.
cos its just 10 mins of rest then another 40 mins of skipping for finals
so i had no stamina! :(
OMG i screwed up.... but nvm, thanks teammates for encouraging me when im really really on the verge of giving up. :D love u guys, <3!
anyway although i screwed up the whole thing during the finals, im really proud of ourselves
although we may be very very tired, although our legs hurt like mad, we didnt give up!
GREAT JOB DARWIN!
i think overall, darwin did a fantastic job today!
we FINALLY broke the record of being 3rd every year! (YAY)
we came in 2nd, just behind POLO :)
so overall, i think i enjoyed today's IHG, because of the strong house spirit and the great classmates that i have :D
if not for the encouragements from S10, i think i would have given up alr.
cos towards the end, i really have no energy to jump anymore. ><
but i just forced myself to jump because i dont want to disappoint my classmates.
so ya, IHG was fun today!

ok i shall end off this post with another whinning....
my legs very suan now!!!!! as sour as a lemon! omg...
LOL!

i think this week is going to be boring T_T
sian....
and we'll be having pw, pw and more pw!
OMG! can die man!
hope i can survive pw... :)
cos i dont want a screwed-up grade for pw on my Alevel cert.
so.. jiayou! another one month and we'll be free from pw^^

and i've been browsing through some of the graduation photos they took for this year, on facebook
and i got reminded of our own graduation day last year.
its a lot of dragging friends to cam-whore, and touring the kampong-like school at teck whye for the last time... LOL
i really miss BP a lot.
esp the Class of 2008! (our batch)
i miss all my lovely BP friends !!!!
and i realised the white and maroon red uniform doesnt look that ugly anymore, after i graduated, LOL
afterall, i've been wearing it for 4 years alr...

tmr is inter-house game
jiayou darwin... :D
OMG this post doesnt flow la!
seriously, im just typing down whatever that comes to my mind.
haha

OMG this is so freaking true!
i went to belle's blog and saw the personality test that she did.
then i did the test also, out of curiosity, to find out how accurate it is
AND OMG OMG OMG THE RESULT IS REALLY VERY ACCURATE!

here's what i've got :

You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.
Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.
You are feeling under considerable pressure and you are being forced to make concessions. You are not particularly happy with this state of affairs but you feel that you have no alternative. If you were to force issues you would be left out or completely ignored by one and all.
You are presently experiencing excessive stress as a result of self-restraint. You act and think differently from the common herd and you want to be liked and admired for yourself and to associate with people who feel and act as you do. Because of this need to be self-reliant and to break away from mediocrity, you are finding this situation most uncomfortable and you are experiencing considerable anxiety - perhaps even more than you feel the capacity to cope with. You need to find a 'soul mate', someone whose standards are as high as your own - but where? Keep on searching... The situation is uncomfortable and you would like to break away from it, but you refuse to compromise with your opinions. You are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of necessary decisions. You are stubborn but this is no deterrent to a happy life, so why drop your standards. Think positively, everything will work out. It has worked out successfully for you in the past and it will again in the future.
Trying to cope with conditions which you think are beyond your capabilities has led to considerable anxiety and stress. You now feel that you are not capable of coping with this situation and indeed any situation which could arise from what you consider to be your personal inadequacy.

cant believe this can be so accurate -.-
so this also means that im giving myself too much stress is it?
lol but who dont want to excel?
i dont want an Alevel cert at the end of 2 years, with lousy results which cant get me into the course i want... ><
i want to choose my own course in uni, not the uni choose me -.-
ok ok, maybe im really giving myself too much pressure alr.... LOL

and anyway kaijun, xiangqin, huilin and i went to TopOne KTV at bugis today :)
we went there to try it out since its so much cheaper than kbox
and it turned out to be not bad eh... :)
can consider going there next time...
its just $18 for 7 hours....
cheaper than kbox :D
and there's even lighting effects etc... so ya, not bad

whee and IM GOING BACK TO BP TMR !!!!
got dragged by huilin de
we are supposed to go there and bai mei, while eugene they all promote PJ
lol..
u noe, every year they will have like JC ppl (tcher+alumni) going back and promote the school to the sec4s? ya that type lor... -.-
but nvm, i dont care if we look stupid tmr just standing there and doing nth
cos its BP :) i love going back to BP
there's always this homely-feeling
like how the song lyric goes : "this is home truly, where i know i must be..."
BP is my second home, and i'll always rmb it for creating an impact on my life :)
ONCE A BPIAN, ALWAYS A BPIAN

had my last paper today!
so promos officially ended for me.... FINALLY -.-
i've been waiting for this day to come since dunnoe how long ago... LOL
its really very stressful la
and now... although promos has ended, the worst has yet to come -.-
i DONT WANT to get back my results!
screwed up big time for promos.... ><
im dead.... haix
and once again, i've let myself down cos i DEFINITELY wont be able to meet the target i've set for myself at the start of the year....
and i guess i've become numb to all these le....

i dont mind mugging, if it can produce results
but im demoralised because no matter how hard i mug, i cant seem to get all the As that i wanted to!
very demoralising can!
am i stupid or what o.0

nvm, i shall think positively. before huilin starts nagging me again. HAHA!
and yay i dont have to go to school for the rest of this week ^^
shall have a good break from all the hardcore mugging
before starting on the very packed pw schedule timetable next week ><
jiayou, i can do it de! :)
LOOKING FORWARD TO WED's KBOX WITH MY USUAL KBOX CLIQUE !!!
we shall sing loud loud and forget about all the stress^^